I am a single Christian, why am I talking about sex?

People ask me questions all the time about my ministry, topics, and platform I teach from. Here are some of the the most commonly asked questions.

Straw hats

Talking the dirty talk (Sex) and Christianity

“How can you really be a Single Christian and talk about sex openly?

My answer is always why should I not? Number one, I am not just a Christian, I am a Committed Christian. A Christian that regardless of my inadequacies I refuse to leave God's house. I am committed to a relationship with him, therefore committed to being a Christian.

That doesn't mean that I am walking around in a nuns outfit thinking only holy thoughts and praying 24/7. If I was a nun I think I would be a kicked out nun. Truth is those outfits don't do

anything for my figure, I could not wear that dog on head covering all the time, and nuns don't marry meaning those heifers ain't having sex for life. That is not my calling. Jesus be a fence and help me hop over that fence and get the heck out of that convent. I truly would be scaling the walls looking for some fitted clothes and praying the isolation didn't send me into sin.

My relationship with the lord does not stop me from wanting to have sex. It helps me to not so freely move in sexual perversion, but it doesn't subdue the desire in me to want to have an exciting and exhilarating sex life. I want to

have sex, I miss having sex, I look forward to having sex in the sanity and the safety of God's protection as well.

"Do you believe in abstinence?"

"Abstinence is choosing not to engage in a certain behavior, or not giving in to a desire or appetite."

Abstinence is a choice. I don't know if I choose it, or it choose me. I started to abstain because I felt pulled in two different directions in my need to have sex, and my need to want to have a working, hearing from God, relationship from the father. I didn't like how I felt when I had sex outside of marriage. The initial response was pretty good.... sometimes. But after some time I started to feel the repercussions to my spiritual woman. I had a hard time focusing, getting instructions from the lord, and I felt more vulnerable to the enemies attacks (Vulnerability was real). In addition to the relationships with the boyfriends that took me out of my character when they cheated. Army crawling through the grass of some skanky heifer's house. Investigating like I was Sherlock Homes in the case of "Who the hell's draws are these?" Feeling needy and desperate for something that should have been given to me freely. Constantly failing at a worldly concept of what is suppose to happen in order to start a relationship. It was not working. So I stopped. I abstained, but the desire and appetite that I was suppose to not be giving into was still there. I chose to abstain, but my body felt that it was not considered in my decision making.

Ain't no way you are not having sex, you want people to believe that?

I almost cussed the person out that asked me this question, but I will stand firm in my commitment to the lord and not walk in my flesh in responding to them.

I will start by saying that I have had sex outside of marriage. I have had sex since I started this ministry. I have had sex and told people don't have sex. How can that be? Aren't you a hypocrite? In that moment yes, yes I was. And we are all hypocrites when we say one thing and do another. How I am able to teach even though I have failed is that it is a day by day moment by moment walk. If I told you that I have it all together I'd be lying to you. I am abstaining now. I live a celibate life, regardless of my failures. Traditionally people will say, "Don't judge me." But I disagree. The word says that you are to judge your brother and sister in Christ. So judge me and find me guilty of sinning in those moments I have fallen, I was.

I have been successful in abstaining for awhile now. But if I fail tomorrow I will get back up and fail forward into my fathers forgiveness and repent. Failing forward by following steps to understand how I got there. I repent meaning turn from my sin. I don't take his grace for granted and intentionally sin. I commit to God, not to sin and I take all my issues into God's house. Especially the ones that I feel like I am powerless to. One of the best things I could have done was got naked with the lord. I started praying to let go of the sin in my life while I was doing it. It worked! I don't keep God out of any part of my life, including my sin. It helped me to be delivered.

"If you can't have sex, then why talk about it?"

Nigga please we all talking about it. We talking about it thinking about it. Avoiding it, sometimes not avoiding it, and wanting it!!!!

Ministry on Sexual Desire does not start before you have sex, it is in the preparation.

Look my approach is to take everything to the father. My success in abstaining has been much more productive when I take it to the Lord. I am honest with my father. When I see Idris in some boxers comes across my FB timeline and I catch a feeling I take it to the lord. " Father I desire to be sexual active, to have sex that is fulfilling, exciting, and passionate. Lord I am feeling it today! Lord help to not jump through this computer and taste the sweat off.....Amen. (I am kind of joking)

Seriously, talking about it does not mean you are dwelling in lust. Me taking my needs to God helped me to be able to work out the issues that I believe were preventing me from growing, operating in lust, and being defeated by perversion.

"Do you believe in sex before marriage?"

That is an interesting question. I do not believe in sex before you legally become married to your spouse. No I do not. But let me add to that. I don't believe in ALL sexual contact before marriage. That includes anything that causes sexual arousal. What ever gets your motor running. That is actually what sex is. All activities that cause you to be aroused. If you are kissing and it stirs your pot then you are actually having sex. We categorize sex as penetration sex and that is not true. Oral sex is sex, fingering is sex, hand jobs is sex, groping is sex. The way you define sex is your bodies reaction, not the action.

Also I need to add that when you have sex with someone you are spiritually tied together, glued, soul-tied, and yes spiritually married to that person. A friend of mine wrote a book that really dives into that topic. It blew my mind when I realized that I needed to spiritually divorce the people that I had sex with. It is truly eye opening. Email for more information about the book. It's called The Spirits of Sexual Perversion. by Dr. Intimacy.

How can you write about marriage, and you have never been married?

Hahahaha right! I completely agree with you. When the lord started asking me to share with others what he was teaching me in me walking in Mrs.Goodthing I thought he was crazy. "Why would anyone listen to me?" "Shouldn't I already be married?" He answered me very clearly. He said "Who says so?" and then referred me to Paul the Apostle. So I would tell you the same thing. Paul was the Dear Abby of the bible and he as not married. God chose him to break down the roles of husband and wife in more detail then any other accounts in the word. And I guess to answer your question he chose me. If this bothers you then normally it is a woman that is married, or has been married and thinks, "you have no idea what it is like to be married." And in some perspectives you are right. But that has nothing to do with this. God asked me to help him. I was minding my own business working on being a better woman and he asked me to help him. Maybe you told him no? Maybe you refused to hear the truth about yourself and because of that you are unable to help others? Maybe you are fearful to go to the lengths that God requires in this ministry? I don't know what your issues might be, but if you have an issue with me I suggest you take it up with the one who assigned this mission to me. There are a lot of married people who are wrong in their marriages. Sometimes God needs a view from the outside instead of in.

How did you start this ministry? Or why?


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I desire a life that surprises the hell out of people who think they know who I am, and ultimately leave no dreams on the table.  

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